Form and Spacing in Poetry

When it comes to the format of a poem, different approaches have different benefits and risks.  One form might build energy by incorporating line breaks that slow the reader down and create the possibility for double-meanings. Another approach might sacrifice line breaks but build tension by forcing the reader to read more quickly, more frantically. Still another approach can isolate certain words and phrases for extra emphasis, irony, etc. What form you take is entirely up to you, of course, though experimenting with different forms can help you make an informed decision. To see what I mean, compare the original format of Stanley Kunitz's famous poem, "The Portrait," with some other versions I made.

The Portrait (original version)

by Stanley Kunitz 

My mother never forgave my father
for killing himself,
especially at such an awkward time
and in a public park,
that spring
when I was waiting to be born.
She locked his name
in her deepest cabinet
and would not let him out,
though I could hear him thumping.
When I came down from the attic
with the pastel portrait in my hand
of a long-lipped stranger
with a brave moustache
and deep brown level eyes,
she ripped it into shreds
without a single word
and slapped me hard.
In my sixty-fourth year
I can feel my cheek
still burning.

The Portrait (non-Kunitz version 2) 

My mother never forgave my father for killing himself,
especially at such an awkward time and in a public park,

that spring when I was waiting to be born.
She locked his name in her deepest cabinet

and would not let him out, though I could hear him

thumping. When I came down from the attic

with the pastel portrait in my hand of a long-lipped

stranger with a brave moustache and deep brown level eyes,

she ripped it into shreds without a single word
and slapped me hard. In my sixty-fourth year

I can feel my cheek still burning.

The Portrait (non-Kunitz version 3)

My mother never forgave

                                         my father

for killing himself,

                               especially

at such an awkward time

and in a public park, that spring when

                         

                    I was waiting

to be born. She locked his name in her

deepest cabinet and would not

                                                 let him out,

though I could

                        hear him

thumping.

When I came down from the attic

with the pastel portrait in my hand

of a long-lipped stranger

                                    with a brave

moustache and deep brown  

                                             level eyes, she ripped it

into shreds

without a single word

                                    and slapped me hard.

In my sixty-fourth year 

I can feel 

                my cheek

                                 still burning.

The Portrait (non-Kunitz version 4)

My mother never forgave my father for killing himself, especially at such an awkward time and in a public park, that spring when I was waiting to be born. She locked his name in her deepest cabinet and would not let him out, though I could hear him thumping. When I came down from the attic with the pastel portrait in my hand of a long-lipped stranger with a brave moustache and deep brown level eyes, she ripped it into shreds without a single word and slapped me hard. In my sixty-fourth year I can feel my cheek still burning.

More on Scansion

The critical analysis portion of the midterm went very well but the scansion… eh, not so much.  Obviously, this isn't an exact science but here’s another crash-course.

Ignorance

by Joel Brouwer

The authors you haven't read are cooking over campfires in your backyard. They've pitched tents and dug a well. You knew they'd eventually come to haunt you in their frock coats and togas, wagging ink-stained fingers: shame, shame. But they don't seem irked: they sing as they peel potatoes, they've set up a volleyball net. You say / thought you'd be angry, which cracks them up. Hell no, they roar. Have some lunch! Your mind floods with the morphine of relief. Someone ladles you a plate of soup. You can see your face in there. You can see right through it.

The authors you haven't read are cooking over campfires in your backyard. They've pitched tents and dug a well. You knew they'd eventually come to haunt you in their frock coats and togas, wagging ink-stained fingers: shame, shame. But they don't seem irked: they sing as they peel potatoes, they've set up a volleyball net. You say I thought you'd be angry, which cracks them up. Hell no, they roar. Have some lunch! Your mind floods with the morphine of relief. Someone ladles you a plate of soup. You can see your face in there. You can see right through it.

Bold—what you’d stress (eh, probably).   

Italics—might stress, depending on context/reading style.

Compound words (backyard, someone, campfire) might have both syllables slightly stressed, since each syllable would be a word on its own.  Contrast that with words like author, cooking, morphine, etc.

Where the energy comes from: OK, obviously as a prose-poem, it isn’t gaining energy from line breaks, but it does gain energy from the format, i.e. the prose-poem structure might force you to read this a little faster and view this from the lens of a “traditional” short story (though in terms of content, it definitely isn’t).  Otherwise, the piece gains energy from the weird/imaginative scene, plus the use of more stressed than unstressed syllables (which might be why it sounds surreal but slightly creepy).

Links to Daily Schedules

I know these can get buried after a couple months so here are the links to our daily schedules:

For my MWF section

For my TR section

And now, a word from Norman Minnick...

I selected ten questions from the bank of questions contributed by my students for the poet, Norman Minnick, which he was kind enough to answer.
 

1. What made you want to become a poet and is there a topic that you most prefer to write about?

It’s funny, when I was in my teens and twenties I wrote poems and songs and gave a couple poetry readings and performed in a band but never thought of myself as a poet. I wrote poems. How does that make me a poet? I wanted to be a novelist. I didn’t choose this.

2. Why did you decide to write some of your poems as just one long stanza, such as “The Problem of the Puer Aeternus” and “Stones”?

Is there a topic I most like to write about...? No, except that I find myself writing about human beings, especially human beings in situations that when viewed from a certain angle are rather odd. Ted Hughes has a wonderful essay about writing about people in his book Poetry Is. In it he writes about the art of choosing the right details about a person that will capture his or her entire life. He says, "The whole art of writing is to make your reader's imagination go into action." This is more difficult than it sounds, but I feel like my reader's imagination can conjure up a larger "story" of the woman climbing into the Peterbilt or the girl with freckles carrying a flat of azaleas in "A Week without Poetry", for example. Mine does, at least.

When I write poems I pay very close attention to way line- and stanza-breaks work with the saying of the poem. (I have an essay about this that I wrote for the poetry month issue of Teachers & Writers Magazine that I’ll share with you later.) The one-stanza poems feel as if they do not need a pause, as if they are one thought.

3. What’s the inspiration behind your poem, “A Week Without Poetry?”

The irony is in the title. What most people would not consider poetry is all around us, in the trash heap, on the side of the street, the things people say at a Little League game, and so on. I sort of realized that after a frustrating week of not reading or writing poetry (I read at least a poem a day) that I had gathered these little nuggets that resembled poems (poem-blips!) just by looking around and listening. Maybe it’s not poetry, but it’s my world.

4. Are you the narrator in the “Angel Mounds State Historic Site” and “Oconaluftee Indian Village, A Cherokee Living History Museum” poems?

Yes. But I wouldn’t place too much trust in me as a narrator.

5. Were you able to visit Angel Mounds to research it?

Yes. It wasn’t research, though. I was just there.

6. Can you talk about the need to be willing to take risks in poetry, especially in a poem like “In the Parking Lot of the Dry Cleaners”?


If you aren’t taking risks in your poems then why are you writing? There are eight million poets writing today and only about five or six of them are really any good. Those are the ones who take risks. I probably don’t risk enough. (Thank you, especially, for this question. It really has me thinking.)

7. Did your family background influence your writing style? If so, how? 

Growing up, I was surrounded by books. Books on shelves! They were my father’s books. Not just any books––they were books of great literature: mostly novels and poetry. A little history, philosophy, drama, humor. They seemed somehow sacred to me. I would look at them a lot. See my dad reading them. As I got older I would sometimes take one down (carefully!) and open it. Ah, the smell! I marveled at their bindings. The design of the pages. The typefaces (not fonts!). I would read the colophons. The novels I didn’t read. I felt that I somehow had to EARN them. I did sneak in a few of the poems from time to time. Rilke. Yeats. Ted Hughes. Berryman. Robert Lowell. Kinnell. Bly. Judith Minty! I knew that there were vast worlds––universes––in those books. More wisdom. More mind-expanding erudition than any drug could provide. Even without reading them at an early age, they were physically and tangibly within my reach. And I eventually did. Am still reading them. No academic or institution could have led me into such rich terrain. No. I was surrounded by books. My father read them.

8. Do you prefer writing in the day or at night? 

I prefer writing whenever I can. If I am driving and a good line comes to me I need to write it down immediately. This is a dangerous practice and I don’t recommend it to anyone. Poems, or ideas for poems, do not come easily. I snatch them up greedily whenever they appear.

9. What’s your favorite poem in Folly? 

That’s like asking which of your children is your favorite. I enjoy the response I get when I read “In the Parking Lot of the Dry Cleaners” or “Never-Never Land” or “Etc. Etc.”

10. What was your inspiration for the poem, “The Young Girl”?

“The Young Girl”, along with other poems like “Never-Never Land”, “Toes”, “Country Mark,” “Auto Repair Shop”, etc. are simply anecdotal. They are accounts of what I have witnessed by being in a certain place at a certain time and paying attention to the intricacies of the moment. This is my favorite kind of poem––one that doesn’t try to theorize or pontificate.

Explication of "On Being Told I Don't Speak Like a Black Person" by Allison Joseph

Most of what happens in regards to good art--especially writing--happens on a subconscious level. Because of this, I often hesitate to go line-by-line through a poem and explain what I think is happening because it kind of kills the magic of the piece. On the other hand, it's a great way to learn the magician's tricks so we can utilize them ourselves.  So let's take a look at the following poem by my friend and former teacher, Allison Joseph: 

On Being Told I Don't Speak like a Black Person (p. 95)

Emphasize the “h,” you hignorant ass,
was what my mother was told
when colonial-minded teachers
slapped her open palm with a ruler
in that Jamaican school room.
trained in England, they tried
to force their pupils to speak
like Eliza Doolittle after
her transformation, fancying themselves
British as Henry Higgins,
despite dark, sun-ripened skin.
Mother never lost her accent,
though, the music of her voice
charming everyone, an infectious lilt
I can imitate, not duplicate.
No one in the States told her
to eliminate the accent,
my high school friends adoring
the way her voice would lift
when she called me to the phone--

A-ll-i-son, it’s friend Cathy.
Why don’t you sound like her?
they’d ask. I didn’t sound
like anyone or anything,
no grating New York nasality,
no fastidious British mannerisms
like the ones my father affected
when he wanted to sell someone
something. And I didn’t sound
like a Black American,
college acquaintances observed,
sure they knew what a black person
was supposed to sound like.
Was I supposed to sound lazy,
dropping syllables here and there
not finishing words but
slurring the final letter 

so that each sentence joined 

the next, sliding past the listener?
Were certain words off limits,
too erudite for someone whose skin

came with a natural tan?
I asked them what they meant

and they stuttered, blushed,
said you know, Black English,
applying a term from that

semester's text. Does everyone

in your family speak alike, 

I'd ask, and they'd say don't

take this the wrong way,

nothing personal.

Now I realize there’s nothing
more personal than speech,
that I don’t have to defend
how I speak, how any person,
black, white, chooses to speak.
Let us speak. Let us talk
with the sounds of our mothers
and fathers still reverberating
in our minds, wherever our mothers
or fathers come from:
Arkansas, Belize, Alabama,
Brazil, Aruba, Arizona.
Let us simply speak
to one another,
listen and prize the inflections,
differences, never assuming
how any person will sound
until his mouth opens, until her

mouth opens, greetings welcome
in any language. 

OK, first, the obvious things: it's a poem addressing race, sure, but it's also addressing tension with family and friends, as well as the struggle to define--and defend--one's identity.  That's pretty weighty subject matter.  However, Joseph starts with a genius move: that is, she tells a joke.  Emphasize the “h,” you hignorant ass is kind of funny; it's also a bit different from the tone of the title.  So right off the bat, Joseph takes a risk with a high pay off: the title draws us in, the first line grabs our attention, and if we snicker, we quickly realize what she's talking about and probably feel guilty, thus we pay closer attention.

Also, take a look at how the line breaks flush out the double meaning of "ruler" in these lines:

when colonial-minded teachers
slapped her open palm with a ruler
in that Jamaican school room.

A few more great tricks.  Take a look at:

 Was I supposed to sound lazy,
dropping syllables here and there
not finishing words but
slurring the final letter
so that each sentence joined
the next, sliding past the listener?

See the comma after there?  No?  Well, that's because there isn't one.  Technically, though, there should be.  So leaving it off (whether Allison did this consciously or subconsciously) could fulfill a couple functions.  First, it adds a little tension by leaving off a bit of punctuation, thus speeding up those lines. Second, leaving off that comma could be seen as "lazy," thus it's mirroring--thus, defying--the insult of the previous line.  

Another thing.  After that, we have:

Were certain words off limits,
too erudite for someone whose skin

came with a natural tan?

See how erudite seems to be an example of a word that is "off limits," yet the poet's use of it resonates with subtle defiance?

Next, take a look at these lines:

no fastidious British mannerisms
like the ones my father affected
when he wanted to sell someone
something. And I didn’t sound
like a Black American,

Note that mid-clause break in line 3, which interrupts the flow of the sentence (another risk) but invokes the image of slavery, and all the horror and anxiety that comes with that word, while simultaneously putting a twist on it; the line refers to the poet's father.  Now, take a look at the next line; see how it ends on sound, not didn't? Obviously, the latter would have further emphasized the poet's distance from her father; however, perhaps subconsciously, Joseph decided not to do that (maybe for fear that it would over-emphasize that familial distance?).

One more line break to point out:

I'd ask, and they'd say don't

Technically, this line occurs when the friends are telling Joseph not to take offense at their fairly offensive questions; by breaking on don't, though, Joseph flushes out the ignorance/insecurity in their attitude, creating the image of their group immediately responding to her reasonable response by ordering her to keep quiet.

In her poetry, Allison Joseph demonstrates both fierceness and humor.  Her work (like Allison herself) resonates with intelligence, guts, and friendliness.  I encourage everyone to check out more of her work!

Observation Exercise

I’ve noticed so far that people are doing quite well in terms of adding emotional and sometimes philosophical pull to their poems, as well as being personally invested in their writing, but we’re still a little lacking on the main ingredient: imagery.  So with that in mind, we’ll try a little exercise.

1)   Go to where people are (probably the Atrium).

2)   Spy on them without being too obviously creepy.

3)   Take note of their physical appearance, body language, etc.

4)   Jot down any quotes you overhear.

5)   You can observe as many people as you want, mix details, etc., to produce the one or two characters you want to write about.

6)   Then, write a narrative poem giving as much physical description (and as little exposition) as possible.

7)   The final requirement: if your overheard quote sounds silly, or is not grammatical, or seems to portray your character as shallow, you have to try and have them perform an action in the poem (even a small one) that redeems them.  If the quote makes them appear kind or intellectual, try to have body language hint at the opposite.

TR Daily Schedule

COURSE SCHEDULE

I officially took on this course at the last minute (Tuesday, Jan. 7, to be exact) so I modified my MWF schedule as best I could, given the snow days.  As anyone who has been in creative writing workshops will tell you, things very rarely go exactly as scheduled. So view this schedule as a rough guide; I’ll always announce any changes plenty of time in advance.

Week 1:
Thursday, Jan. 9: Introductions. Discuss basic terminology and some warm up poems. Assignment: start working on your first poem and read Always Danger by David Hernandez.

Friday, Jan. 10:  Late Registration and Change-of-Course end.

Week 2:

Tuesday, Jan. 14: Finish discussing the Warm-Up Poems. Time permitting, discuss some of the schools of poetry. Copies of Poem #1 due in class; bring enough for everyone. On your own, read through students’ poems and write some constructive suggestions on the poems.

Thursday, Jan. 16: Begin workshopping Poem #1.

Week 3:

Tuesday, Jan. 21: Continue workshopping Poem #1.

Thursday, Jan. 23: Finish Poem #1. Distribute copies of Poem #2. Also, on your own, prepare your written response to Always Danger.

Week 4:

Tuesday, Jan. 28: Journal #1 (over Always Danger) due in class. Discuss the book. Begin workshopping Poem #2. 

Thursday, Jan. 30:  Continue workshopping Poem #2.  On your own, start working on Poem #3. This time, I want you to write an “imitation poem” in which you try to imitate the style or subject matter of one of the assigned poets or poems we’ve discussed so far.
 

Week 5:

Tuesday, Feb. 4:  Finish workshopping Poem #2. Distribute copies of Poem #3 (the imitation poem). 

Thursday, Feb. 6: Begin workshopping Poem #3.  Discuss Imitation of Life. Journal #2 (over Joseph) due.

Saturday, Feb. 8: Instead of meeting in the classroom, on your own, please watch this reading by Stephen Dobyns. 

Week 6:

Tuesday, Feb. 11: On your own, start reading Folly by Norman Minnick.Continue workshopping Poem #3.

Thursday, Feb. 13: Finish workshopping Poem #3, if necessary.  Discuss Folly by Norman Minnick. Journal #3 (over Minnick) due in class. Also include THREE QUESTIONS FOR THE POET!!!

Week 7:
Tuesday, Feb. 18: In class, perform an imitation of Albert Goldbarth’s poem, “Library” (available at http://poems.com/special_features/library.htm) . Feel free to tinker with that and submit it as your fourth poem. Otherwise, you can turn in something different. Time permitting, we'll also discuss "Marginalia" by Billy Collins (http://www.billy-collins.com/2005/06/marginalia.html).

Thursday, Feb. 20: Distribute copies of Poem #4. This time, we'll try small group workshops so just bring a copy for me and about 5 copies for your group members.

Week 8:

Tuesday, Feb. 25: In-class scansion lecture (or review, if we decide to cover this earlier). Discuss the midterm assignment. For this, I want you take TWO of the poems you have already turned in for the semester (preferably the original drafts, not revisions) and scan them, like what I did in the scansion activity. Then, write a journal (two pages minimum) analyzing YOUR style, strengths and weaknesses, any patterns you notice in terms of your word/syllable usage, your aesthetic, etc.

Thursday, Feb. 27: No class!  I’ll be out of town for a reading/presentation at the AWP Conference. On your own, start work on Poem #5 (another imitation OR your choice of the Poetry Prompts). Please put the name of the poem you're imitating on the copy, as well.  On your own, start reading No Object by Natalie Shapero and prepare your written response.

Week 9:

Tuesday, March 4: Watch “Howl” in class.

Thursday, March 6: Finish watching "Howl" in class.  Discuss.  Midterm exam due in class (this should consist of the journal AND the actual scanned poems).

Spring Break: No class Monday, March 10, through Friday, March 14

Week 10:

Tuesday, March 18: Discuss No Object. Journal #4 (over Shapero) due in class. Course withdrawal period ends.

Wednesday, March 19: Natalie Shapero will be visiting my MWF class at 2 PM, if you're interested in attending (RB 361).

Thursday, March 20: Distribute copies of Poem #5 (either an imitation or your choice). We'll do another round of small group workshops to get us caught up so you only have to bring about 6 copies.

Friday, March 21: Norman Minnick will be visiting/reading in RB 361 at 2 if you're interested in attending.

Week 11:

Tuesday, March 25: Distribute copies of Poem #6 (another imitation OR your choice of the Poetry Prompts). Read and discuss some examples of Prose-Poems (available on the blog). On your own, make sure you’ve read Strike Sparks by Sharon Olds and prepared your journal response.  Time permitting, start workshop.

Thursday, March 27: Discuss Strike Sparks by Sharon Olds. Journal #5 (over Olds) due in class. Continue workshopping Poem #6. On your own, work on Poem #7 (a Prose-Poem).

Week 12:

Tuesday, April 1: Continue workshopping Poem #6. 

Thursday, April 3: Finish workshopping Poem #6, if necessary.  Distribute copies of Poem #7.  To make time for conferences, we'll do this one in SMALL GROUPS so you only need 6 or 7 copies. Also, if you haven't already decided what you're going to cover in your class presentation, DO SO NOW!  As I said, presentations can be over pretty much any contemporary, published poet (focusing specifically on one to three poems) but I don't want multiple presentations over the same thing so we will also SIGN UP FOR PRESENTATIONS.

Week 13:

Tuesday, April 8: Small group workshop of Poem #7.  Sign up for conferences.  Conferences will be in my office (RB 246).  Please bring two of your poems.  They can be either new poems or revisions but they must be things you've written this semester.  On your own, work on Poem #8 (something of your choice).  You also have the option of showing me Poem #8 in conference so if there's a topic or style you'd like to try but not share with the class, now's the time!

Thursday, April 10: CONFERENCES INSTEAD OF CLASS.  

Week 14:
Tuesday, April 15: CONFERENCES INSTEAD OF CLASS.  

Thursday, April 17: Turn in Poem #8.  This poem is required for the class but optional in terms of workshop; if you don't want to workshop it, just give me a copy. Workshop for Poem #8 for anybody who's interested.

Week 15:

Tuesday, April 22: Class presentations.

Thursday, April 24: Class presentations.

Final Exam: Your portfolio is due IN MY OFFICE on Tuesday, April 29, at 9:45 AM.

Your portfolio should contain all 8 poems, revised.  At least three of those should be MAJOR revisions (labeled as such)!  I also need the originals (labeled as "original," or just include a marked up copy).  For minor revisions, obviously, label them "minor revision."  Put all this in a folder, a binder, a paper bag, or an unlocked treasure chest.  Whatever.  If you have any questions over what I consider a "major" revision, let me know!



CONFERENCES

Thursday, April 10:
10:45 - 11:00 Walter E.
11:00 - 11:15 Anna Bowman
11:15 - 11:30 Jessica Dunson
11:30 - 11:45 Alex Smith
11:45 - noon
12:15 - 12:30 Katie Morario
12:30 - 12:45
12:45 - 1:00


Friday, April 11:
11:00 - 11:15 Andrew Kelly
11:15 - 11:30   Devon McCoy
11:30 - 11:45  Chelsea Kleeberg
11:45 - noon
12:00 - 12:15 Mason Long
12:15 - 12:30


Monday, April 14:
11:00 - 11:15
11:15 - 11:30
11:30 - 11:45
11:45 - noon
12:00 - 12:15 Jamie Blake
12:15 - 12:30



Tuesday, April 15:
11:00 - 11:15 Kaiti Crittenden
11:15 - 11:30 Aly Bartholomew
11:30 - 11:45 Marc Bartel
11:45 - noon Nicole Thomas
12:15 - 12:30 Bri Pierce
12:30 - 12:45
12:45 - 1:00


Wednesday, April 16:
11:00 - 11:15
11:15 - 11:30
11:30 - 11:45
11:45 - noon
noon - 12:15  Samuel Itkin


CLASS PRESENTATIONS 

*Remember, these are short (about 5-7 minutes) so we'll try and do about 9 per class.  Sign up AND give the name of the poet on which you'll be presenting.

Tuesday, April 22: 
1) Kirstin Jorgenson - Walter Enzmann
2) Katie Morario - Thomas Sayers Ellis
3) Anna Bowman - Philip Levine
4) Aly Bartholomew - Billy Collins
5)Kaiti Crittenden - Lauren Zuniga
6)
7)Brooke Wyant- Wallace Stevens
8) Marc Bartel- Pat Mora
9)Jamie Blake - Natasha Trethewey


Thursday, April 24: 
1) Sam Itkin -- Alec Hershman
2) Jessica Dunson-- Ntosake Shange
3) Robert Creeley--Mason Long
4) Alex Smith - Khary Jackson
5) Chelsea Kleeberg -- Ada Limon
6) Devon McCoy--Poe
7) Nicole Thomas - Kathleen Rooney
8) Andrew Kelly- Ray Carver
9)